RedJen's Musings

A glimpse inside my rambling thoughts

Dear Kiddo,

You seem to want to talk about something and I think I know what it is, but here is the deal. It is your conversation. I can’t have it for you. I will continue to try and give you openings to talk about it, but I can’t make you take any of them.

You may wish I’d come out and just force you to have the discussion, but part of growing up is being able to have conversations about things that matter to you.

To me the core is that you’re my kid, I love you, and nothing is going to change that part of who you are to me. So unless you’re trying to divorce me as a parent, I’ll accept the rest, but it is up to you to tell me what the rest of it is.


Blog Dilemma

I’ve got a dilemma. I REALLY want to use my blog and journal real things that are going on in my life. I’ve done it before and it is a great way for me to see things laid out in front of me and then process them. My issue is that one of my current frustrations revolves around my teenager. The last thing I want is for them to have a negative reaction to me journaling, but so much of my emotions are wrapped up in them that anything honest is going to have a teenager featured in the starring role.

I’m stressing over teenager stuff, job stuff, house stuff, and what’s next stuff. My husband has figured out that I’m going to stress. It is in my nature or in my DNA, either way I’m going to do it to some extent.

I want to be a fun mom, but right now I feel like all I ever get to be is the mean mom. I’m the Ruiner, the killer of fun. I expect homework and (very) minimal chores to be done before things like hanging out with friends and video games. I’ve been working as diligently as I can to spell out expectations, because our teen gets frustrated if after chores are done, I ask if homework is also done. They look at me adding extra things on the pile of stuff to be done before they get what they want. I honestly see being up to date on homework/school work and chores done as the minimum buy in to go out and goof off.

I love the kid to pieces and I’d do anything for them, but there are some things they just have to do for themself. I can’t make High School go away and that seems to be what they want more than anything.